Take a peek into our chaos

Photo by Yulia Gadalina on Unsplash

Its almost been a year since we took 5 & 6 full-time. So much has happened. #2 got engaged. #4 barely graduated high school. #7 competition dance is increasing numbers. Mr. Chaos side business took a huge hit and he is still working nights. I have been on survival mode so long waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel and it got pushed back.

We went to trial for the modification and heard back from the court a couple weeks ago. Mr. Chaos was awarded physical custody.

Like with everything ex-wife #2 related, the trial was a hot mess.

Mr. Chaos was awarded a decent amount of child support that will hopefully take the financial sting out of having #5 & #6 full-time, if ex-wife #2 sticks around and pays it. It has been a year of money struggles but trying to not let it get us down.

#2 decided about a year ago she set a solid date for her wedding.

I have been trying to be present and help as much as I can but adding 2 kids full-time has hit me hard. We are less than 3 months away from the wedding and the final planning is in full swing. I am excited and want to do it all but know I am only one person.

God help me.

All the birthday parties over the year helped me plan and execute an over top the graduation party for #4. She has shared her birthday parties with her older sister for her entire life and she only asked for an amazing graduation party to help make up for it.

So, she got what she wanted to the best of my and her step-mom abilities. She seemed satisfied and content at the end of the day knowing she was special.

I barely remember the last year.

I don’t know if it was a trauma response or being just plain so busy I couldn’t take a breath. I was a stressed out hot mess. Disorganized and never knowing if I was coming or going.

Dance classes, competition practices, dance competitions, dance recitals, school concerts, orchestra concerts, school conferences at 3 different schools, doctors appointments, dentist appointments, meditations, hearings, trial, lawyer meetings, therapy sessions, bio-mom visits…

In a few short weeks, it will mark the one year anniversary of our life changing forever.

Ex-wife #2 is planning her escape from our home town and now is able to blame Mr. Chaos. The judge saw right through her lies and did what was in the best interest of the children. Ex-wife #2 chose a man over her children and had them cover for her in the process put them in danger. In reality, all Mr. Chaos did was protect the girls and the judge saw it.

As I am typing this, I feel a sense of relief. I know money is going to get tight again and I will have to figure it out but for now, I have a couple weeks to plan accordingly. After being in fight mode for so long, I don’t know how to react. I am a little worried that I may have more going on then just relief. I’m worried that I may be burnt out but that is a topic for another day.

With another year of dance and school ahead of us.

I am looking forward to settling into what will become our new normal. No more court, no more dealing with entitled bio-mom, just working with Mr. Chaos to continue to strengthen our relationship and building the type of life we want for us and our children.