Take a peek into our chaos

Photo by Artem Kniaz on Unsplash

8, the baby started kindergarten this year. I was excited, but also so very tired. I’ve been through it so many times. I know I wanted to be present, but I am exhausted.

I am 41 with a kindergartner. I was considered of advanced maternal age when I was pregnant with him. (At least they got rid of the term “geriatric pregnancy” at my clinic.) I guess it’s better than Mr. Chaos (he is, um, 48) but I’ve been a mom for 23 years solid. We are trying to be in more than just survival mode and enjoy life.

Meet the Teacher times 2 schools (Better than 3 like last year)

On meet-the-teacher night at 7 & 8’s school, there was a kindergarten Q & A, which I skipped. This was because we had to meet with at least 2 teachers each for 5 & 6 since they are in middle school. We had to go room to room for all of their classes so they wouldn’t be tardy on the first day of school. Find their lockers, make sure the locker combination worked, and figure out the bus schedule. During the same 2 hours, we had to meet 7 & 8’s teachers in an entirely different school. 4 kids in 2 different schools during the same 2-hour time period. Unfortunately, this meant that the kindergarten Q & A had to be sacrificed.

Parenting is tough. Juggling it all is difficult. Doing it while being old is next level. Most days, our life is scheduled out to the minute so we can be everywhere for all our kids. Don’t get me wrong, we love our baby and will struggle through it. He is worth it. Our children are worth it. Pick and choose what matters to you, then give it your all.

The Baby goes to Kindergarten

The first day of school, as usual, we were late dropping off 7 & 8. I watched 8 excitedly walk into “7’s school.” He told me that he feels like a big kid going to her school.

As they walked away from us, surrounded by all the other students, he looked around and went to grab her hand. She moved it just at the right time. I laughed. She was like, “Nope, you are cramping my style.” He kept walking side by side with his big sister. He was entering the familiar school as a student for the first time.

End of the First Day

It was extremely hot that day. I was driving like a madman, trying to get to the school before he got out. I was upset with Mr. Chaos for not keeping an eye on the clock so I could make sure I left work on time. I’m stretched thin being the alarm clock for everyone else in the family except for myself. Sometimes, moms need help. Moms ask for help!

I was able to park just off the street where we were to pick them up. I see 7 & 8 around the corner. 8 wasn’t smiling. It sucked. It was too hot to be even remotely happy. My favorite part of the first day of school is the smiles on my kids’ faces.

He wasn’t talking, just walking towards the van so we could get home as quickly as possible. He wanted air conditioning. I did snap a quick picture of him and 7. They were in the same spot, with the same hat that 7 had received on her first day of kindergarten. I love taking similar pictures with each of my kids.

Meet the teacher, again?

The first Thursday of the first week of school. We received a letter inviting us to meet the kindergarten teacher, again. I guess the school was trying out something different, but this mamma does not have the time. I already missed work on Monday and had to make up the time. I had to miss the second meet-and-greet. However, I didn’t miss sending him off and greeting him home after school on the first day. Cherish the small victories.

It’s official

All the Chaos crew is in school or beyond. No more babies, no more toddlers, no more preschoolers, only elementary schoolers or beyond. That chapter has been closed, but I’m not much of a crier or sad because that chapter is closed.

I’m a mom who looks towards the future. I’m a mom who is excited for the future. What does the future hold for my littlest guy? What does the future hold for all my babies, big and small.

I’ve been a young mom and now I am an older mom. Really, it’s not much different. I care just as much as I did back then for my kids. It’s just easier to get caught in survival mode.

No Tears from this Momma, Just Smiles and Excitement

Even though 8 is the “last” I don’t see it as a sad thing. No, I won’t ever give birth again, breastfeed or have any of the baby’s firsts with my children. But since I already have adult kids, I know there is so much more to life than babies.

Children, preteens, teens, young adults. They are just as precious as the baby stage in my eyes. I guess maybe that is why I don’t cry. I know there are years of important steps ahead of me.

I will always be mommy no matter the age of my babies.