Take a peek into our chaos

Following is a list of key players in our lives and few of those regarding our trauma. It doesn’t include everyone since we are such a large blended family.

The Chaos Crew

The following is a mini introduction to the Chaos Crew.

Mr. Chaos

We have been married for 7 years and he is the biological father to 6 children. He is the father to 1, 5, 6, 7, and 8. 1 belongs to his ex-fiancée, 5 and 6 belong to ex-wife 2, and we share 7 and 8. He has 1 daughter from whom he lost rights, and she was adopted by her stepdad. We have been working towards reunification with her since she turned 18.

One

She is the oldest of the chaos crew, Mr. Chaos and his ex-fiancée’s only child. Mr. Chaos didn’t know that she was his daughter until a court-ordered DNA test confirmed it. His ex-fiancée lied about paternity and then moved to Iowa from Florida.

Mr. Chaos met her for the first time when she was 11, and ex-fiancée was struggling with addiction. She sporadically stayed with Mr. Chaos and ex-wife 2.

While Mr. Chaos and I were dating, he made sure that she started staying with him every other weekend regularly. Her senior year, she moved in with us full-time. Currently, she lives with her boyfriend, and they are planning to move to another state next spring.

Two

She is my ex-husband and my oldest daughter, the second oldest of the chaos crew. She lived with us 50/50 until she graduated high school. She moved around a little bit right after high school: living with her boyfriend, her dad, and eventually staying in a camper on my property. She stayed in the camper for a few months before moving into her first apartment. Recently, she purchased her first home with her fiancée and will be married in a few weeks.

Three

He is the oldest boy and 3rd oldest of the chaos crew. He is ex-husband and my middle child and the oldest boy. He lived with us 50/50 until he graduated high school, then moved in with my ex-husband full-time after his graduation.

He loves to read and play video games. He is content with the basics and some snacks when he is craving them. He is difficult to buy for. He is working third shift at Amazon, still figuring out his life. He has time since he is only 20.

Four

She is the baby of my ex-husband and my children. She is one of the very middle children of the Chaos Crew. She lived with us 50/50 until recently when she graduated high school. She is staying with her boyfriend but spent the summer bouncing between all three homes.

She is the most dramatic other than 8. She struggled through school with friends and schoolwork. She was diagnosed with ADHD during her sophomore year of high school and began struggling with her physical health. Things seemed to have leveled out, but it’s a constant worry for me.

Five

She is the oldest daughter of Mr. Chaos and ex-wife 2. She lived 50/50 with us until Mr. Chaos took unofficial custody for her safety, then later was awarded physical custody of her. She has lived full-time with us for over a year now. She is the other middle child but the oldest living in the home.

She started ADHD treatment almost a year ago. She has always found school challenging and has had emotional struggles. We are helping her feel supported and loved as she deals with her trauma. She made significant progress by stepping out of her comfort zone and joining a bowling league.

Six

She is the youngest daughter of Mr. Chaos and ex-wife 2. She lived 50/50 until a year ago, same as 5. She is the 3rd youngest of the chaos crew. She is very bubbly and outgoing, which hides her anxiety.

As much as I worry for 5, I worry even more greatly for her. She buries her feelings deep below where if you are not looking, you will not see the true her. She is one of the most responsible children still living in the home and rarely doesn’t do as asked. Which makes me worry when she is blatantly ignoring us and won’t talk about what is bothering her.

Seven

She is Mr. Chaos and my oldest daughter. She has been an overachiever since birth. She met all her milestones early except for walking. She refused to speak directly to her daycare provider. One day, out of the blue, sometime after 8 was born, she started talking to her. She started with her when she was 9 months old, and she was 2 1/2 when 8 was born.

She is in competitive dance, and she excels at pretty much everything she has tried. She has been chosen twice to represent her grade level in the district-wide art show. She is already on track for her next grade in school. She did a beginner hockey session, and having never been on ice skates, she stayed upright by the second night.

Eight

He is Mr. Chaos and my baby and Mr. Chaos’s only biological son. We knew he was the last. All my pregnancies were difficult, but the 8 took the cake. He was by far my sickest but luckily my most medicated pregnancy. Plus, Mr. Chaos and I are too old to be adding more children to our bunch.

He is wild and crazy and the best combination of of his older siblings. He is annoying and the sweetest thing all wrapped up in a feral package. We recently found out that he has a love of exercise at the young age of 5.

Mr. Chaos’s toxic ex-family

The following is an introduction to Mr. Chaos second ex-wife and her family.

Ex-wife 2

She was married to Mr. Chaos for 5 years. Their actual relationship was about 4 years between breakups and her dragging the divorce out. They share 5 and 6. She remarried to a child sex offender and they have a daughter a year younger 8.

She lost physical custody due to her poor parenting choices. She forced 5 and 6 to lie about their relationship with her SO husband. She repeatedly told them that if they ever tell the truth Mr. Chaos would take them away and they would never see her again.

She uses their baby sister to convince them to do things they don’t want to do. If she was unhappy and sad it was their job to make her happy. Being nice, she is a neglectful mom on her best days.

SO husband

He is currently married to ex-wife 2. He is a convicted child sex offender with multiple convictions for drug charges, domestic violence, theft, credit card fraud, violating the sex offender registry, and falsifying information on the sex offender registry.

He keeps residencies in our state and two in his home state. Until recently, he wasn’t allowed any contact with 5 and 6. He and ex-wife 2 never followed the no contact law. So, during the child modification the judge ordered a strict no contact order between him and 5 and 6. He lives in the gray area and knows the laws so he can manipulate situations for his benefit.

Baby sister

She is the daughter of ex-wife 2 and SO husband. She is 5 and 6’s youngest sibling. She lives between our state and SO husband’s home state. She has undisclosed to 5 and 6 health issues. They only know that she has a lot of doctor appointments and problems.

She seems to be a wild little girl that wants for nothing. If she misses 5 and 6, ex-wife 2 will move mountains to make her happy. From what we can see, she loves and misses 5 and 6 and doesn’t understand what has happened.

Toxic grandparents

They are ex-wife 2’s parents and 5 and 6’s grandparents. They were a large part of 5 and 6’s life until Mr. Chaos found out about the contact between SO husband and 5 and 6.

They financially supported ex-wife 2 and 5 and 6. They paid for ex-wife 2’s lawyer for her divorce and multiple lawsuits against Mr. Chaos following the divorce.

5 and 6 told us that they don’t trust them. Last year, they were worried they would kidnap them and deliver them back to ex-wife 2. 5 and 6 told me that if the toxic grandparents had to choose between ex-wife 2 or them, they would choose ex-wife 2.

They have not contacted Mr. Chaos regarding the well-being of 5 and 6 at all for an entire year until recently. Mr. Chaos allows them to contact 5 and 6 through phone calls and text messages, but no in-person visits.

Toxic aunt

She is ex-wife 2’s older sister, 5 and 6’s aunt, toxic grandparent’s oldest daughter. She lives in a different state and was very close to ex-wife 2 and 5 and 6. There was some sort of falling out and 5 and 6 no longer have a close relationship with her.

She was aware of the contact between the SO husband and 5 and 6. She never told Mr. Chaos or contacted the authorities along with everyone in ex-wife 2’s life.

In the year that 5 and 6 have lived with us full-time, she messaged them twice. Once last August then once in June.

She has contacted Mr. Chaos on behalf of toxic grandparents a few times in the recent months. She doesn’t believe that her or her family should be punished for what her sister did. She takes no responsibility for her or her family’s silence.

More to come

These are a few tidbits about people in our life. I will update and add more people as our stories expand to more of our life. We have a large family but few outside our little family unit play a part in our daily life.